December 18, 2015

All I Want for Christmas

Dear Father Christmas (St. Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Santa Claus, and so forth),

Father would be vexed, to say the least, if he were to discover this dispatch to you, a bearer of light in this world so beautifully dark, but as he is always encouraging any endeavor that lends strength to my devious nature, I have decided to take matters into my own hands.

The children of the village often argue about your modus operandi this time of year. Some say you only visit “nice” children. Others insist you visit all children but deliver coal or other undesirable objects to those you deem “naughty.” Yet, in my optimism (an unusual virtue for one of my kind, I will admit), I have chosen to believe those who proclaim that you visit all children in a spirit of bounding generosity. With that in mind, here follows my request.

All I want for Christmas is my fangs.

They are late in coming. Father admonishes me to keep quiet about their delay, to exercise the stillness and patience so valued by my kin. He has even permitted himself to lie to me–for I know it is untrue that fangs late in coming are a sign of extraordinary ferocity. Father’s fangs came early. He does not know what it is like to develop the thirst before the means to slake it.

The problem is a simple one, and I deplore you to be the answer. Am I not a child like any other? I believe your generosity to be grander even than any fiction that may spew from the meek and feeble imagination of a merely human child. And is not belief, after all, the underpinning of this merry season?

Please give my regards to your wife, to your elves, and to all your many reindeer. I will caution you, however, to keep your reindeer a good distance from this castle next Christmas. For even if you do not see to my needs at this time, I am sure to have my fangs by then. Reindeer are the perfect feast for an adolescent vampire.

Yours truly,
Victor, True Son of the Count
in the Shadow of the Crooked Mountain

(This is a prompt I wrote for my writing group meeting last week. Merry Christmas!)